Hi
Welcome to another mail from SLS.
Today I talk about what we can learn from Avengers about focusing only on the reality we’re living and not the ones we could.
In a scene from Avengers Infinity War, Dr. Strange watches all the possible futures to determine which possibility will make them win against Thanos. He sleeplessly tells Tony, aka Ironman, they have only one way to win the endgame.
It was one of the most powerful scenes from MCU’s Avengers movies, and the depth of it was felt until the very last scene of the Avengers Endgame.
What I found intriguing was how Dr. Strange and Tony knew they only had one chance to save the world from Thanos — one chance in 14 million 605 possibilities. That’s quite stressful knowledge, but they managed to keep their focus on the one possibility that saved the world.
If they had continued to think about all the other possibilities and all their failures, they’d have never been able to win the last fight against Thanos.
This thought became prominent after I saw a tweet from famous blogger Tim Urban. In the tweet, he talked about focusing more on things that are in our control instead of obsessing about other chances.
It was a reminder to live life as it comes and live in the present.
All of us try to control every situation that comes our way. I don’t know what this obsession is to be the decision-maker, even for the simplest things when you can never know what tomorrow will bring in advance. We ignore the power we have over what we’re currently doing.
If Tony had any idea where he would be after five years from his with Thanos in the Infinity War, he wouldn’t be able to settle down with Potts and have a cute little daughter. He’d still be stuck in the mental loop of all the other possibilities instead of living his life.
Trying too hard to manipulate our life, aka spending time in the black lines in the above image, can divert us from the green one. Even Ironman was kept from the secret of his future to allow him to focus on his present.
The “Could Be” Doesn’t Let Us Be What We Are
With my inclination towards tech and the aspiration to build my startup, I often regret my decision to leave engineering in computer science to pursue my interest in design at that time. I regularly think about what would happen if I completed my degree and learned to code. I’d have had no trouble working on my start-up idea without worrying about finding a tech co-founder.
The underlying question here is, would I still have the idea that I want to present to the world? I might not have come across it if I hadn’t got the chance to work on a self-initiated project in my design college.
Well, I can’t go back in time to undo it or travel in the future to see how well I did. All I can do is do my best work now and follow the opportunities I am presented with today.
This moment is the only one that’s real and exists in this universe.
In his book, The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle talks about how now is all we have. He defines that state of being present as enlightenment.
“You can know it only when the mind is still. When you are present, when your attention is fully and intensely in the Now, Being can be felt, but it can never be understood mentally. To regain awareness of Being and to abide in that state of “feeling-realization” is enlightenment.”
While ruminating about my dropout story, I totally ignore how happy I am as a marketing designer and how much I enjoy design and marketing.
When we focus on the could be, we ignore the reality; we sideline what we are at the moment. We don’t pay attention to the great things happening to us.
The Chances You Didn’t Take Create Your Reality
You can do everything, but you can’t do it all at once.
Imagine you want to run, learn driving and also want to fly planes. Now, if your riding at 200kpm and thinking about flying an airplane, you’re surely going to hit something on the road.
Life is as much about what you don’t do as much as it is about what you do.
All the relationships that didn’t work out allowed you to find the one.
All the jobs you didn't get made you the entrepreneur you’re today.
When I find myself stuck between two choices, I think about what I would not see myself doing in the next 4–5 years. This personal philosophy has allowed me to live confidently and without any regret.
As much as it’s important to stick to our lane and follow the green line, it’s as much important not to let ourselves get diverted for the other directions or the black lines.
Saying no becomes easier when we understand this.
There's no way we can see the future like Dr. Strange and prepare ourselves for what comes our way.
The only thing under our control is what we can do now — this moment.
Don’t obsess over everything you can achieve in your life, but think about what you can do today that brings you joy and contentment.
A lesson of the week
Don’t try to control everything. (Simple yet powerful)
Currently reading
12 Stages of Healing. A book by Donald M. Epstein and Nathaniel Altman.
Video of the week
I have been benefitting from affirmations all my life. People think it’s a woo-woo concept when it’s just self-talk. I enjoyed this video of Matt D’Avella, where he talks about whether affirmations worked for him or not. Watch it if you don’t believe in them.
Quote of the Week
"Create something today even if it sucks." —Unknown
Song of the Week
Stay Alive (From The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty) by José González is beautiful. Let me introduce you to the lyrics
There's a rhythm and rush these days
Where the lights don't move and the colors don't fade
Leaves you empty with nothing but dreams
In a world gone shallow
In a world gone lean
Creation of the Week
I have been painting some random stuff, and I think I should compile it in a video and share it with you. Hopefully soon.
I hope you enjoyed this email. I missed it sending out last Sunda, and II had no internet due to the storm in Bhopal.
I want to tell you that you’re not alone; we all are on the same journey.
If you ever feel confused and clueless, know that you’re not alone.
Sending you love and light
Shreya